Tiger
by Winter Blake
Summary: Peter was to late. He had run as fast as he could but he hadn't gotten to her in time. She was just lying there on the ground cold and dead. Pairing Peter/Mary Jane past Peter/Gwen. Companion piece to Phantom, but it doesn't have to be read to understand this.


**This is a companion piece to Phantom but you can read this without having read it before. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

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**Tiger**

Peter was to late. He had run as fast as he could but he hadn't gotten to her in time. She was just lying there on the ground cold and _dead_. There was blood everywhere, still pouring out of her, and her face was white.

He was at her side in a second, holding her to him as he cried into her matted hair. "Wake up Mary Jane," he pleaded. "Please wake up." But of course she didn't. She was dead and it was all his fault. "Just wake up goddamn it!" he shouted to her corpse through his tears. "WAKE UP!" And he was screaming for her to be _alive_ and call him tiger again, and smile that smile. But she wouldn't. She would never roll her eyes at him again, or twirl her hair in her small hands…

With a scream Peter jolted himself awake and tears were already spilling out of his eyes. He turned to see Mary Jane on his left living and breathing, her eyes open haven been woken up by him. Before he knew what he was doing he was grabbing her and pulling her to him as he cried into her neck. He was comforted by the feel of her chest moving up and down, and her warm skin on his- all reminders that his nightmare had been just that, a nightmare.

"It'll be alright," he heard Mary Jane say to him.

She always comforted him whenever he had a nightmare, which had become more and more frequent. It was the price you paid for being a superhero.

"How about I make you some tea?" he heard her say, and he was overcome with the completely irrational fear of her leaving. She needed to stay where he could see her, where he could protect her, where he could know she was safe.

"Stay," he whispered into her neck, "I need you right now. I need to know you're here."

_Way to sound like a baby,_ Peter thought to himself disparagingly.

But Mary Jane didn't get up, and whispered an, "okay" to him- an affirmative that she wouldn't leave him, and he calmed down. His breathing was back to normal, and his heart had slowed to its usual steady pace. There was silence for a while, the only sounds were his and Mary Jane's breathing.

"I know you miss her Peter," Mary Jane said suddenly startling him. What was she talking about? Who did he miss? "I know it hurts you that she's gone, and I understand that." Oh Gwen. Why was she talking about Gwen right now? "But I can't keep doing this."

_What?_

Peter's head shot up and he stared at Mary Jane to see her eyes red from crying. Had she been crying? How had he not noticed? "What are you talking about?" he asked completely lost.

Mary Jane sighed and sat up, and he followed, his hands trembling a little at the words she was about to speak.

"I know how much you loved her, and I know I could never replace her. I know she was your real love, but I can't keep competing with a ghost Peter. I know that your nightmares are about her, and I can't keep this up. I love you so much Peter. I love you more then anyone in the world, but I can't keep doing this." Mary Jane sobbed before she clamped a hand over her mouth.

All Peter could do was stare at her in shock, trying to process what she had just said. She thought… she thought his nightmares were about Gwen. She thought he couldn't sleep because of her. He recalled a time when that had been true. When he had been plagued with nightmares of reliving Gwen's death over and over again. He was still sad from her death, and sometimes he wondered _what if_, but he had been to in love with Mary Jane for a while now, and he couldn't love Gwen the way he once had. He would always love Gwen, she had been his first love, and he would cherish that. But Mary Jane was his true love, and as guilty as he had once felt about it (still did at times), he was pretty sure he loved Mary Jane more then he had ever loved Gwen.

Suddenly Peter heard a sob and he was taken out of his mind and back to the present. Mary Jane was sitting in bed holding a hand to her mouth as she tried to suppress her sobs. She was blinking rapidly to keep her tears at bay, and Peter was overcome with guilt. He had done this to his MJ. She was crying because of him, and because she thought she had to compete with a ghost that haunted his dreams. How had he been so stupid?

"No, baby, please don't cry," he said as he hugged her closely to him. She put her head into his chest and just _cried_. She was clutching at his shirt as cried into him, and all he could do was hold her. She was struggling to take in air, and Peter had never seen her like this before. He ran one hand on her back in circles and the other through her hair. "It's okay MJ," he said, trying to comfort her in vain. "Oh god. MJ _please_ calm down you're going to make yourself sick."

But she kept crying anyway and all Peter could do was hold her close to him and think about how to undo his terrible mistake.

Finally Mary Jane's tears died and she lifted her head from his chest. But she wasn't looking at him, she was staring at her hands intently, and all Peter wanted to do was look into her eyes and tell her how much he loved her.

"I'm sorry," Mary Jane said.

"What?" Peter said too loudly. What did she have to be sorry for? "No MJ. You have nothing to be sorry for. This is all my fault."

"No it's not. I understand how you must feel. It's all me. I just can't handle it," Mary Jane said in a brave voice, although Peter could tell she was breaking on the inside. She started to move, to leave Peter guessed, and his hand shot out to prevent that. She couldn't leave without him explaining.

"You don't seem to understand," he said urgently.

"No I do. I really do," Mary Jane said. "I know I've never lost someone like you have, so I can't know what it must feel like. But I know if I ever lost you… I know how much this hurts you Peter, and I… I know it won't go away. And I know it isn't anything I can help, let alone ever begin to fix."

She was still looking down. How could he have done this to her? Oh god what had he done? He felt tears in his eyes at the pain he had caused MJ.

He lifted her chin so he could look at her properly. Her eyes were red and puffy and she just looked so _broken_.

"How long have you felt this way?" he asked, praying she would say not long. Just tonight.

Mary Jane shook her head. "It doesn't matter Peter. I know whatever I say you are just going to blame yourself for, and I already told you not to."

"_Please_ MJ." _I have to know how long I've been hurting you. _

"I don't know. You've had these nightmares for so long Peter, it just kind of… happened gradually I suppose." _That means she must have felt this for a long time-possibly always._ "I'm so sorry Peter. I never wanted to hurt you."

A growl escaped from his lips. How could she keep apologizing? She had done nothing wrong. She'd lived with these feelings for god knows how long and hadn't said a word. She had comforted him night after night thinking he was crying over an old girlfriend. "Stop apologizing! You haven't done anything wrong."

"Peter," she began but he cut her off.

"No let me speak. MJ… I haven't dreamt about Gwen in… I can't even remember the last time I dreamt about her."

"You call out to her in your sleep," she said sadly.

_What?_ If anything he would call out to Mary Jane, not Gwen. "What? When?" He racked his brain for a recent time Gwen had appeared in his dreams but he couldn't remember.

"Well it's been a while but-"

"See MJ I haven't dreamt of her in a while. It's…" _just say it, "_It's you I dream about."

Mary Jane just sat there frozen, and Peter wondered if he should wave a hand in front of her face or something. Btu before he could try anything she spoke. "Me?" she asked with such a confused look on her face Peter wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry.

"MJ do you mean to tell me that all this time you had no idea what my nightmares were about?"

"I thought you were dreaming of Gwen's death."

Peter let out a manic laugh. "If only." Gwen's death had been so horrible, but seeing the different deaths of Mary Jane had torn him apart inside. He'd rather relive her death then any of the scenarios his mind had made up for Mary Jane.

"What? Peter-"

"I'm not saying that her death doesn't haunt me, because it does. I don't think it will ever not. MJ you know I will always love her, but I'm not in love with her. I'm in with love you and only you."

"Then… but your dreams-"

"Used to be about Gwen. Somewhere along the way they stopped being about her and…" _Crap._ Images of Mary Jane's countless deaths started filling his mind and… not he had to stay strong He had to-

But MJ had taken him into her arms and breathing in the her scent. He took deep breaths to calm himself.

It's okay," Mary Jane said, "You don't have to tell me."

"But I do," he said extricating himself from her arms, "because you won't understand until I tell you. My dreams… there about _you_."

"Me? What about me? Oh please don't tell me that you dream about me hurting you or something because I would nev-"

"No MJ," he stopped her. "I know you wouldn't."

"Then wha- _oh_." And Peter could tell she knew. She knew what he dreamt of at night, and she knew his worst fear.

_I suppose I should explain._

"One night I was dreaming of the bridge but instead of Gwen it was you. And for a while I just kept having that same dream, but then they changed, and you've died so many different ways, and-" His voice cracked and he let out a strangled cry much to his embarrassment. Flashes just kept running through his mind

And then Mary Jane's arms were around him once again, reminding him that they were only images.

"I'm right here Peter. You don't have to worry about that."

What if he hurt her though? What if somebody went after her to get to him "But-"

"No buts. I'm fine Peter, and I'm going to stay fine. I'm not going to leave you. Not now not ever."

"But what if I-"

"Shhhh. You aren't going to cause anything, let alone my death."

"I'm sorry MJ. I had no idea you felt this way."

"Stop feeling guilty Peter. I swear you can sometimes be such an insufferable little martyr."

He laughed a bit, and kissed her. She smiled at him when they let go, "That's an order tiger. No more moping. You're emo enough as it is."

Peter was to happy to be offended.

**Please review! I'm begging you! **


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